Wednesday, August 19, 2009

5 Ways to Avoid Sharing the Gospel Ever Again - Part 4

4. Only Speak in Sentences that Can be Cross-Referenced in the Bible (And Say the Reference)

The best part about this approach is that it actually accomplishes two Christian life-goals at once: 1) Making yourself look far more biblically literate than anyone else in your church
2) Never having to share the gospel again.

This one takes some practice, but I promise it will help you never speak to another non-Christian again, if you just think about a few common circumstances in which you will need to draw upon your superior biblical prowess.

Example 1: You've wrapped up the 2 and a half hour service at your church and spent the next half hour dissecting the worship leader's choice to sing the alternate tune to "All Hail the Power of Jesus' Name." Now your friend says, "Hey it's 1:30 and I'm getting hungry. You want to go grab some lunch?" A normal person might say, "Yeah I'm starving, let's go to that new Mexican place." But you're not a normal person, so you reply with, "Man does live by bread alone. Matthew 4:4."

For bonus points, just use the King James Version.

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