Introducing the iPad: As iPhone Users Age, Apple Releases Large Print Edition

The typical iPhone user has now aged almost 3 years from the day they purchased their first iPhone (most of them are on their fifth one by now) and they are now the age that they used to call "old" and "out of touch." Apple, in it's wisdom, released a large print version of the popular smart phone.

"Sometimes have to blow in it to make it work."

Apple has some of the most loyal fans on the planet and the tech giant knows how to keep them coming back. Today Apple released their much-awaited tablet device. Although it was supposed to revolutionize everything that has ever been created ever (Apple's products always do that), the large-edition iPhone dubbed the "iPad" failed to wow the Apple fans sufficiently. Oh every last Apple fan will buy one the minute it is released, but they won't be fainting in the streets in anticipation.

Aside from the numerous jokes being made on Twitter and Facebook about the name (think feminine hygiene products) and concerns about proprietary AT&T internet access, the iPad does include... wait for it... speakers and a microphone! ooooOOOOoooo!

Do you notice anything missing from the trending topics in the hours after Apple announced a product called the "iPad?"

Finally, as computers go, you just can't find one with 64 gig of memory at the low price of $829. This thing is a steal!

(Picture via: New York Times Live Blog)

Droid's Newest Ad Calls iPhone "Tiara-Wearing Digitally-Clueless Beauty Pageant Queen"

I've enjoyed watching Droid go after the iPhone almost as much as I've enjoyed the Verizon vs AT&T ads. (I love seeing head-to-head capitalism at work!) Here's the newest Droid ad which targets the iPhone as a style-over-substance device and positioning the Droid as the performance phone of choice. How the two phones actually match-up remains to be seen as the iPhone has a 2 year head start, but Droid may have a chance against the smartphone juggernaut.

The cult of Apple will be out in full-force defending their favorite toy. Will the noise of the Apple fanboys be enough to hold iPhone's ground or should we expect to see Apple directly counter-attack the Droid a la the Mac vs. PC ad campaign?

I Am Rich - Finally!

Tonight I was scanning the Guiness Book and came across a cracker that sold for $7,840 at auction. "What kind of cracker was this?" you may ask. "Who would pay such an outrageous price for a cracker?" others my question?

The cracker was from the one of the Shackelton expeditions to the south pole (if you've never heard of these expeditions, you MUST read the Wikipedia entry at a minimum).

And the purchaser of this cracker was Johnny Van Haefton, great-nephew to Sir Philip
Brockelhurst, who was a member of Shackelton's crew. You can debate whether this cracker is worth the price paid because of sentimental value or becuase it is a part of history. More than likely, however, it's a status symbol.

Status symbols come in various shapes and sizes, and those wealthy enough to afford extravagance can now take a step away from the cars (which will likely depreciate) and houses (which will likly appreciate) to purchase something that is completely worthless the moment you buy it.

I give you....

"I Am Rich," the most expensive downloadable app for your iPhone and iPod Touch. According to Fox News, the app sells for $999.99 and performs absolutly no function other than showing the picture of the glowing red gem. Some have speculated that the "i" in the lower right hand corner will give you wise counsel on maintaining your decadent lifestyle.

Owning an iPhone no longer places you in an elite group (you never were in one, by the way, since Apple has the goal of bringing a total of 10 million people into your exclusive group before 2009 begins).

If you want to be in the real elite, you must purchase "I Am Rich."

But remember, it's only a matter of time before Apple reduces the price of "I Am Rich" to $500 and releases "I Am Richer" for download for $1199!